Christian Weddings
Christian Wedding Traditions Explained: Unity Candles, Communion, and More
What Christian wedding traditions mean and how they work: unity candle, Communion, cord of three strands, lazo and arras, presentation to Mary and more.
Christian wedding traditions are symbolic acts that express what the vows mean: two lives joined as one, a marriage centered on God, and families and community surrounding the couple. Some, such as the exchange of rings and Communion, are part of many churches' services. Others, such as the unity candle or the cord of three strands, are optional additions. This guide explains the most common traditions, where they fit and what to ask your church before including them.
Key takeaways
- Many traditions are optional and practices vary by denomination, parish, culture and family.
- Unity rituals such as the unity candle, sand ceremony and cord of three strands usually follow the vows and rings.
- Communion is central to a Catholic Nuptial Mass and optional in many Protestant weddings, with different rules about who may receive.
- Ask your priest or pastor before adding a ritual, and check your venue's rules on candles, sand and petals.
The exchange of rings
The ring exchange is the most widespread wedding tradition in Christian ceremonies. The officiant often blesses the rings, and each partner places a ring on the other's finger with words such as "With this ring I thee wed." The unbroken circle is commonly understood as a sign of unending love and faithfulness. Ask whether your church has set words for the exchange, and decide who will hold the rings until that moment.
Holy Communion
What it is. Communion, also called the Eucharist or the Lord's Supper, remembers Jesus' Last Supper with bread and wine (or grape juice in some churches). Sharing it as their first act as a married couple is deeply meaningful to many Christians.
In Catholic weddings. When a Catholic wedding takes place within a Nuptial Mass, the Liturgy of the Eucharist follows the vows, and the couple and guests are invited forward. Communion is generally received only by Catholics, and others may be invited to come forward for a blessing or remain seated, depending on the parish. Many couples where one partner is not Catholic choose a wedding without Mass.
In Protestant weddings. Communion is optional. Some couples receive it alone, served by the officiant, while others invite all baptized believers or all guests who wish to take part. Practices vary by denomination and congregation, so ask your pastor.
Unity rituals
Unity rituals show two lives becoming one. They are optional, usually come after the vows and rings, and take about two to five minutes with music playing.
Unity candle
Two taper candles, often lit by the couple's mothers or families at the start of the service, stand beside a larger pillar candle. After the vows, the couple lights the center candle together from the two tapers. Some couples blow out their tapers to show a new shared life, and others leave them burning to honor the families they come from. The unity candle has become popular in American weddings in recent decades. Some Catholic parishes prefer not to add it because it is not part of the rite, and some venues restrict open flames.
Cord of three strands
Based on Ecclesiastes 4:12, "a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (KJV), the couple braids three cords together, often with one cord representing God. The finished braid can be framed or displayed at home. It is a good choice for outdoor ceremonies where candles may blow out.
Sand ceremony
Each partner pours sand of a different color into one vase, creating layers that cannot be separated. Children or parents sometimes add their own sand to show the new family. Sand works well on beaches and in windy settings.
Lazo and arras
These traditions are cherished in many Hispanic and Filipino Catholic communities, and the Catholic rite approved for the United States includes them as options.
- Arras. Thirteen coins are blessed and given from one partner to the other, often with help from sponsors. They are commonly understood as a sign of shared goods and care for the household.
- Lazo. Sponsors place a large loop of cord, flowers or rosary beads around the couple's shoulders, often in a figure-eight shape, as a sign of their union.
- Veil. In some Filipino and Hispanic traditions, sponsors drape a veil over the couple's shoulders.
Sponsors, often called padrinos and madrinas, or ninongs and ninangs, are honored family members or friends. Ask your parish how these customs are included.
Presentation to Mary
In some Catholic weddings, after Communion or near the end of the ceremony, the couple brings flowers to a statue or image of Mary and prays for her intercession, often while "Ave Maria" is played or sung. It is a devotional custom rather than part of the official rite, so ask your priest if you would like to include it.
Other traditions you may see
- Presentation of the bride. The officiant asks "Who presents this woman?" and the escort answers. Many couples now ask both families to promise their support instead.
- Crowning. In Orthodox Christian and Eastern Catholic weddings, crowns are placed on the couple's heads during the service. These ceremonies follow their own rites.
- Foot washing. Following John 13, some couples wash each other's feet as a sign of serving one another.
- Bible presentation. A family Bible is given to the couple, sometimes by parents or grandparents, to start their home on Scripture.
- Rose ceremony. The couple exchange single roses as their first gift as a married couple.
- Jumping the broom. Many African American couples jump over a broom after the ceremony. Its history is often linked to enslaved people who were denied legally recognized marriages, and its earlier origins are debated. Today it is celebrated as a sign of heritage and a new household.
Where traditions fit in the ceremony
Placement varies, but a common pattern is:
- Before the processional: families light the unity candle tapers.
- After the vows and rings: arras, lazo or veil (in Catholic weddings, as the rite provides), then a unity ritual.
- After the prayers: Communion, if included.
- Near the end: presentation to Mary, in some Catholic weddings.
- After the recessional or at the reception: jumping the broom, if it is not part of the ceremony.
How to choose traditions that fit
- Pick one or two. A single meaningful ritual usually lands better than several in a row.
- Honor your families. Ask parents and grandparents about traditions from their churches and cultures.
- Plan the logistics. Who brings the candles, the sand or the coins? Where does the table stand? Who carries the lazo? Will a long lighter be needed?
- Explain it in your program. A one-sentence explanation helps guests from other traditions appreciate the moment.
- Check with your church and venue. Some parishes do not add rituals outside the official rite, and many venues limit flames, sand and petals.
Plan it in WeddingOS: add each tradition's supplies and helpers to your shared checklist, such as "buy unity candle" and "ask sponsors to carry the lazo," and assign them to the right person. Create your free wedding plan.
Frequently asked questions
What does the unity candle mean in a Christian wedding?
The unity candle symbolizes two lives and two families becoming one in marriage. The couple lights a center candle together from two smaller candles, often lit earlier by their mothers or families. Some Catholic parishes and some venues do not allow it, so ask first.
Do Christian weddings always include Communion?
No. Communion is part of a Catholic wedding celebrated within a Nuptial Mass, and optional in many Protestant weddings. Who may receive varies by church, so ask your officiant and explain the practice in your program.
What is the cord of three strands ceremony?
The cord of three strands is a unity ritual based on Ecclesiastes 4:12, which says "a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (KJV). The couple braids three cords together, often with one representing God at the center of the marriage. It works well indoors and outdoors.
What are the lazo and arras in a Catholic wedding?
The arras are thirteen blessed coins given from one partner to the other, and the lazo is a loop of cord, flowers or rosary beads placed around the couple's shoulders. Both are cherished in many Hispanic and Filipino Catholic communities and are options in the Catholic rite approved for the United States. Sponsors often present them.
Can we have a unity ritual in a Catholic wedding?
Some parishes allow a unity candle or similar ritual, and others prefer to keep only the elements of the official rite, which already includes optional customs such as the lazo and arras in the United States. Ask your priest early, before buying supplies.
Related guides
- Christian Wedding Ceremony Order: Traditional and Modern Examples
- Catholic vs. Protestant Weddings: Traditions, Rules, and Differences
- Best Christian Wedding Songs for Every Ceremony Moment
- Christian Wedding Decorations: Elegant and Affordable Ideas
- Christian Wedding Planning for Indian-American Couples
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